Sunday, August 28, 2016

And I'm back!

Dear blog reader(s),

I don't know how long I'll be back, nor do I make any promises about how often I'm going to start posting, but I finally feel like writing here again.

Thanks for the patience, any of you still following this blog that hasn't been updated since February.  I appreciate your support more than you know.

Today's post will likely mostly be life updates.  Because there are quite a few of them to report.  I haven't been just sitting around these last few months.  I've been making some major life changes.

In February, March, April, May, and June, I did mostly just sit around and get sadder and fatter.  I was feeling pretty hopeless and gave into my depression and my eating disorder.  I felt stuck.

Then in July, I decided to completely change my life.  A generous cousin offered me a way out, and I took it.

I left Stacey and Tennessee behind and moved to Las Vegas last week.  I also decided to leave my binge eating and sedentary lifestyle behind in Tennessee as well.

Stacey and I were together for 8 and a half years.  Things fell apart slowly over time, and I've been unhappy for awhile, but I tried to keep things together because of the longevity of the relationship, and also because I didn't feel I had the means to make it on my own at the time.  I'll keep the rest of the details about the breakup private for now.  We are still on good terms, and are hopeful to remain friends.

I've been wanting to leave Tennessee for a long time.  It's just not where I wanted to live.  I've felt trapped there.  I'm grateful for the University of Memphis, and I'm happy that I lived so close to Mom during what turned out to be the last four years of her life, but other than that, I have no attachment to the place.  I will probably go back sometimes to visit family, but will never live there again.  I'm thrilled to be out of "the South".

I'm currently job hunting, and it's going well.  There are a lot of great job opportunities here.  I'm hopeful and confident that I'll find something good soon.

I am so much happier already.  I drove here from Nashville all on my own, making me feel confident about my ability to survive without a significant other.  I highly recommend starting a break up with a long solo road trip (even though it was also a loooooooooong trip and a pain in the butt, especially pulling a trailer the whole way!).

I'm working on an all over healthier lifestyle now that I've left both a place and relationship that weren't good for me.

I'm no longer content just sitting around all day long, and have been making an effort to get some activity in every day, including going to the gym, doing laps at the pool, and even hiking at the beautiful Red Rock Canyon here in Las Vegas.

I'm also working hard at my diet.  I now live  right across the street from a Trader Joes, and I keep my fridge and pantry stocked full of healthy options.  I love TJs so much it's ridiculous.  So many healthy options and for not that much money.

I would love to lose about 150 pounds ultimately, but I'm taking it one day at a time.  I did lose 4 pounds my first week here, just by being active and not overeating.  There is definitely some vanity going on with this weight loss this time around.  I'm not going to lie and say it's all about becoming healthy.

There are so many thin and beautiful people out here!  I've been out in crowds several times now and I think that maybe 1 out of every 100 people are obese here, so I'm in the extreme minority and I'm feeling pretty gross and fat... but I'm working on it, and I do realize that it's not the most important thing in the world.

I'm looking forward to seeing what's next in my life, and hope very much that it's a great job offer!

By the way, my dogs are doing great, too.  :-)

That's all for today I think.  Thanks again for reading, and I will try to be a better blogger.  <3